Fact and Opinion

Top 10 statements offered unsolicited today by third-graders:

  • If you ever see a zombie, don’t set him on fire. You’ll just have a flaming zombie.

  • Make a fist, and that’s the size of your heart.

  • My dad smokes cigars, but cigars aren’t addictive like cigarettes. Your fingers will fall off. I’m not kidding.

  • Beer is disgusting, isn’t it?

  • My dad loves beer.

  • My mom loves wine.

  • Tampa [the MLB Rays] has the really good young players, and they play good so that they can get to New York and Boston, where the money is.

  • I know how to make fire if you don’t have matches or a lighter. Use the top of a battery.

  • Look how long my nails are!

  • Want to have a no-blinking contest?