Not Mean Enough

Uncovered from the two-week-deep miasma of fetid Super Bowl coverage was the scrap of promotional news of the reunion this weekend between former Pittsburgh Steelers great Joe Greene and the boy, Tommy Okon, who famously offered Mean Joe his bottle of Coke in the commercial that aired during Super Bowl 14. 

It should be noted that Roger Staubach, born on this day in 1942, was the original choice for the Greene role. The Heisman Trophy winner in 1963 and the Super Bowl MVP for the Dallas Cowboys in 1972, however, projected the wrong image.  

“Somebody asked me about that and said that I turned it down,” Staubach told me, “but that’s not the case. I would have loved to do it. Some creative guy must have evaluated the concept and said, ‘Hey, we need a mean guy. It would be better to have Joe Greene than Staubach because Staubach’s a nice guy.’ 

“It probably made more sense, gave a more cuddly feeling to it, to have this big old tough football player give his jersey to this little boy. It turned out, I guess, it was the right decision, but I would have loved to do it.”

Derek Jeter in the Headlines

Fully a year after he retired, in which time he never made headlines for any sordid behavior, Derek Jeter in typical understated manner announced that he would marry his girlfriend Hannah Davis. Jeter never revealed much about his personal life during a distinguished playing career with the Yankees, and unlike many of his contemporaries, he never made the game notes or the back pages of the New York tabloids. For example:

·      He never deflated anything but his own ego.

·      He never “liked” something on Instagram while sitting on the dugout toilet.

·      He didn’t promise to make America huge again.

·      He never bro-hugged Jerry Jones or Chris Christie.

·      Carlos Gomez never suggested to him to play the game the right way.

·      He didn’t check himself into rehab before the playoffs.

·      He didn’t break a teammate’s jaw with a punch or drive 100 miles to beat up a coach.

·      He never guaranteed a victory.  
He never called in sick with a migraine after partying the night before and playing golf in the morning.

·      He never called “game” after a winning hit.

·      He never threw a jagged bat barrel at Mike Piazza.

·      He never carried an unlicensed handgun in his sweatpants into a nightclub and shot himself in the leg.

·      He didn’t need to rehab by playing catch or throwing on flat ground.

·      He never found fault with his jersey.

·      He prized family time but didn’t oppose family leave.

·      He never issued a self-serving statement about acting in the best interests of the game.

·      He never kicked anything to the curb or threw anyone under the bus.

·      He didn’t pronounce nuclear as “nuk-u-ler.”

·      The calorie cap never came into play with him.

·      He never hired Isiah Thomas.

·      He never pointed to heaven, pounded his heart, or emitted a primal scream after reaching base.

·      He never had to testify before Congress about steroids or HGH.

·      He never buttfumbled the ball.

·      He didn’t name any children “Apple” or “Blue Ivy” or “North.”

·      His obliques were not hidden beneath layers of fat.

·      He didn’t need an afternoon off after a night game.

·      He never uttered “Thank you for axing” during a postgame press conference.

·      He didn’t drink beer and eat wings in the dugout when he wasn’t in the lineup.

·      He never uttered the obtuse “I get it.”

·      He never dated a Kardashian.

·      Fireman Ed never led an insipid chant of his name: “J-E-T-E—JETE! JETE! JETE!”

·      He never jogged a double into a single.

·      He wasn’t a self-styled thought leader.

·      He never bit an opponent on the shoulder during a game.

·      Jay Bilas didn’t talk about Jeter’s length.

·      He never grew a mullet or rocked a comb-over.

·      He never referred to the “changing landscape of sports.”

·      He never belittled the inane questions asked by sideline reporters.

·      He never spoke about himself in the third person.

·      Cameron Diaz didn’t feed him popcorn at the Super Bowl.

·      He never forgot how many outs there were in any inning.

·      He never proclaimed anything “off the charts.”

·      Stephen A. Smith didn’t dare warn Jeter not to make an enemy of him.

·      He never postured or preened.

·      He never explained anything by referring to his DNA.

·      He was never heard to utter the nonsensical “intrical.”

·      He never went off the chart or the mythical grid.

Sports' Beastly Coverage

Respectable people learn at an early age not to make generalizations. One size never fits all. Still, it is possible after reading daily sports beat coverage to paint with a wide brush and cover a large swath of those reporters and broadcasters who abuse the English language and offend their readers’ and listeners’ sensibilities. To read and to listen to sports beat coverage today is to swear off reading and listening to sports beat coverage tomorrow. 

Sportswriters are not alone is using the ghastly “going forward.” Whenever I read that (and in today's journalism that phrase and worse appear all too frequently in the work of hack writers) I wish I could go in reverse and immediately unread it. The belief by jargon aficionados that the use of gibberish somehow confers upon them expert or insider status instead marks them as fools. 

The trouble with bad writers is that they never read good writers. If they did, they would understand that “impact,” “medal,” “task,” and “gift” are nouns, that “myriad” is an adjective, that “disinterested” does not mean “not interested,” “presently” does not mean “now,” “fortuitous” does not mean “fortunate,” and “enormity” is not synonymous with “enormous.” And unless a reporter is covering a hurricane, I never want to read that he or she was “blown away” by something.



You want specifics? A Yankees beat reporter, during his July 4 pre-game notes, included this pleonasm: “Enjoy the holiday...with whomever you're celebrating with.” During the July 11 Fox telecast from Fenway Park of the Boston/New York game, analyst Harold Reynolds called something “very unique.” Who knew there were degrees of uniqueness! Fellow analyst Tom Verducci, normally given to clear thinking and plain speaking, got uncharacteristically caught up in sports jargon when he declared that one pitcher's “spin rate” was “off the charts.” 

Within baseball clichés, “off the charts” has replaced “taken to another level” as the ne plus ultra of praise: so superior it cannot even be measured. In less inspirational moments sportswriters like to use “incredibly” as a synonym for “very.” As in, “He is incredibly talented,” or “It was an incredibly difficult at-bat.” As Tracy Kidder and Richard Todd wrote in their book Good Prose,  “ 'Incredible' and 'incredibly'...like Chernobyl, should be out of service for years to come.” 

More abuses? In New York alone, during one night’s YES broadcast, analyst David Cone said, “And we mentioned that, too, as well.” He did omit “also,” thereby avoiding a triple-double redundancy. Another night, Cone coined a new verb: “efforting.”  (Radio play-by-play man John Sterling used the nonsensical “intrical.” Sterling's radio partner, the inimitable Suzyn Waldman, is given to treacly pronouncements: “Nunez was greeted [in the dugout] by a gauntlet of warmth”; “He tries so hard because he cares so much.”) Cone's TV partner, Michael Kay, during the same night's broadcast, referred to one player’s “tricep.” Sideline “reporter” Meredith Marakovits frequently begins her post-game player interviews with some variation of “How big/How excited/How important was this game/win/loss/hit?” One night, she asked two players the same inane “How satisfying...?” 

“Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed; everything else is public relations,” wrote the peerless journalist George Orwell. Having spent nearly 35 years in journalism, I have been out of the profession since about 2010. One change I have noticed from reading sports coverage is that the beat reporters now seem to be an extension of their teams'  P.R. departments. How else to account for the reporters' devotion and allegiance to the teams and players they purportedly cover?

I have heard in Yankees postgame press conferences these questions to A-Rod: “How dialed in are you?” “How locked in are you feeling?” “How impressed are you with the bullpen?” “How satisfying is it?” and “How happy are you?” and this question to Joe Girardi: “Joe, does first place mean anything in April?” There have also been these questions to Yankees players: “How comfortable at the plate are you feeling?” “How nice is that?” “How concerned are you?” “Is there any part of you that's concerned?” “How frustrating is it?” Well, Bryce Harper cannot be everywhere to respond, “That's a clown question, bro.”

After American Pharoah completed his Triple Crown conquest, a sideline reporter raced onto the Belmont track and breathlessly asked the horse, “How proud are you?” No, that didn't happen, but it doesn't seem that far removed from reality. I am reminded of Longshanks in the film Braveheart whenever I hear a sideline reporter: “Who is this person who speaks to me as though I need his advice?” Right after that he threw the would-be adviser out the window.

I am embarrassed for real reporters when I hear the sycophantic idiocies—from those with media credentials, no less—during postgame press conferences. Sometimes they don’t even ask a question, lazily telling an interview subject “Talk about...” When unimaginative reporters approached the Seattle Seahawks' Marshawn Lynch with inane questions, they got the response they deserved: “Thanks for axing.” 

There is enough absurd and surreal material in sports beat coverage for Christopher Guest's next mockumentary.




Straight Shooting: From Dell to Stephen Curry

In December 1996, the Street & Smith’s Sports Group collaborated closely with the National Basketball Association and the National Basketball Coaches Association to publish the Street & Smith's NBA Playbook, on which I served as Editor in Chief. The Playbook was a slick 48-page magazine directed at secondary school students and provided free to every male and female varsity player in the United States. There were profiles of Olympic gold medalists David Robinson and Lisa Leslie and of high school sensation Elton Brand, as well as essays on sportsmanship and proper shooting form.

A major section of the magazine was devoted to the five positions in the game—center, power forward, small forward, point guard, and shooting guard. The skills needed for each position were described and written by a different NBA player: Butch Beard, Alex English, Paul Silas, and Bill Walton. Dell Curry wrote the essay (below) on the shooting guard. 

One of the best shooters in the game, Curry finished in the top 10 in the league in three-point field goal percentage. In 1995-96, his 10th NBA season, he averaged 14.5 points, his ninth consecutive season in double figures. Curry did a masterful job of teaching the fine points of shooting to his elder son, Stephen, eight years old in 1996. Fast-forward two decades to the 2015 NBA Finals, where Dell Curry and his wife, Sonya, were hoping to see the sharpshooting Stephen, the NBA's Most Valuable Player, lead the Golden State Warriors to the league championship over the Cleveland Cavaliers. 

Here is the lesson on shooting in the 1996 Street & Smith's NBA Playbook from Dell Curry:

Shooting guard—the job description for this position is in the title. And it's a job most players, regardless of their size or level of competition, would eagerly apply for and gladly accept. What are the requirements for the position? To take the shots. Yes, most applicants believe they have the credentials to do that—or at least they say they are willing to try. But the position is not open to everyone. To be an effective shooting guard you must earn the job. And to do that, you have to demonstrate that you can hit the outside shot on a consistent basis.

Proper Form
When I was growing up, form used to be the most important consideration for shooters: keeping your elbow in a direct line with your body. I don't think that's the most important thing now. A player has to be comfortable with his own shot. Still, there are some standard guidelines for proper form: You have to be square to the target, having your feet and body facing directly at the basket, not pointing to the sidelines. You must be conscious of that and you have to work on it. And when you are on the move, dribbling the ball, you have to be able to pull up, be square, and shoot.

Improving Your Shot
I have devoted a lot of time over the years in trying to improve my shot. It's pretty simple. You get a ball and a basket. I like to practice taking two or three dribbles going one way. Then I pull up and shoot. Actually, you don't even have to shoot the ball. Just practice your form. Make sure that your feet and shoulders are square to the basket. If you do enough repetitions, it becomes a habit. And that is really the primary thing. You have to work at shooting the ball. If you don't put in the time, then it's not going to happen. It's as simple as that.

Early Start
When I was growing up, before I was in high school, I'd sometimes shoot for two or three hours a day. Coming from a small town [Harrisonburg, Va.], and having four sisters, I found that this was something I could always do by myself. Afterward, when I finished my workout, I would go and play with my buddies. 

Technique
Alex English was among the top scorers in the NBA for years, but he readily admits that he didn't have a very good technique. He shot off-balance a lot. Nevertheless, Alex was a great shooter. That just shows you that technique, in some cases, is up to the individual—providing, of course, you can fill up the basket. The most important things are being square to the basket and taking good shots, shots you know you can make. High-percentage shots. That goes for every player.

Confidence
You need confidence to be a good shooter, and you have to maintain your confidence even when you are missing your shots. If I miss five or 10 shots in a row, I know the next 20 are going to go in. I just know it. I never count my misses. I count my makes. I didn't always feel that way, but I gradually developed that attitude. It helps me when I'm in a slump. I believe that when you are in a slump, you have to shoot your way out of it. But that doesn't mean that I am selfish. I like to pass. I always did. 

Versatility
There are other aspects to basketball besides shooting. If you want to improve, if you want to become more of a complete player, then you have to learn the different parts of the game and you must be skilled in the fundamentals. You have to be able to pass the ball. You have to be able to dribble. You have to be able to move without the ball. Basically, the two guard has to be able to do all the things a point guard does in addition to shooting the ball consistently well.

Screen Test
The shooting guard has to be able to move without the ball to get open for a shot. You have to learn to use your teammates to come off a screen with a quick release on the jump shot. When I first got to college, I had to learn to do that. One of the assistant coaches at Virginia Tech, Bobby Stevens, helped me a lot in that area of my game. He worked with me on a swivel move.

Swivel Move
It's really quite simple: You come off the screen, you turn on your inside foot, you catch the ball, and you shoot. Pivot, swivel, and square up all in one motion, instead of catching the ball and then squaring up. It has to be all in one motion. It's more efficient and it makes it harder for the player covering you. At first, it was a difficult move to learn. But I practiced it over and over. Now, it's a habit for me. I don't even think about it. The key is to develop good footwork and get your body square.

Challenge Yourself
The thing I do when I'm practicing my shot is set a personal challenge. I set goals. For example, if I take 50 shots, I have to make 40 or 45. If I don't, I run sprints. Then I go back and shoot again. I call that practicing with a purpose. If you want to get better, you have to challenge yourself. A shooting drill like that is good for your stamina and because it also simulates game conditions. You should practice shooting when you're tired or breathing a little hard because that's the way it's going to be in a real game.

Defending Good Shooters
There are many things you can do to try to slow down the other team's shooters. Make them work as hard as possible at both ends of the court. Deny them the ball. Make them move without it. Try to learn the plays your opponents run for the two guard and then anticipate the moves and take away their options. We look at film of our opponents all the time to help us on the defensive end.

Commitment
Kids should spend more time practicing, but I know they don't. Fifteen or 16 years ago, when I was in high school, we did. But that has changed. High school has changed. Kids don't spend that much time practicing. They would rather make a spectacular dunk than learn how to shoot the ball correctly. But the thing to remember is that you are not going to get too many dunks in a game. Your time would be much better spent in learning to shoot the ball correctly.

Curses

Horrified members of of the Major League Baseball beat found fault this week with Cincinnati Reds manager Bryan Price for the profanity-laced tirade he directed at Cincinnati Enquirer reporter C. Trent Rosencrans on April 20. Price was unhappy with the line of questioning from Rosencrans, who had asked about the availability of a Reds’ player. The manager saw in the reporter’s curiosity disloyalty to the team he was covering and vented his frustration over the release of information that the manager felt could abet the Reds’ opponent.

You can’t really blame Price for his misguided belief that the beat reporter is an extension of the team’s public relations department.  Given the overwhelming volume of gibberish coming out of the mouths these days of so many media-credentialed folks, one could logically assume that the inane and innocuous questions and comments at postgame press conferences are written by the P.R. staff in advance and provided to the media along with updated stats, schedules, and player biographies.

By now, alas, we are all familiar with the line of questioning in the script of the beat reporter to the manager, coach, or player:

“Talk about the game tonight.”

“How big/important was the hit/basket/ goal/ win?”

“How excited/disappointed are you by this win/loss?

 “You’ve got to be happy/upset about the outcome.”

Evidently, Rule No. 1 followed by some beat reporters, is “Don’t make waves for the players and team you are covering.” Rule No. 2 is, “Toss the interview subject a question so soft that he can hit it out of the park, slam dunk it, put it in the hole, or otherwise score uncontested.”

Of course, there were those in the press who rose up high in their saddles to remind Price and the rest of us of the noble calling of the press to distill the truth and nothing but the truth. Barry Svrluga of the Washington Post, no doubt echoing his illustrious forerunners Woodward and Bernstein, wrote, “Now, no beat writer is doing his/her job if he/she isn’t sending out that information [about whether a player is available for a game] in real time…. All reporters can ask of the people they cover…is that they don’t lie.”

Dan Wetzel of Yahoo Sports at least had a sense of humor about the contretemps when he wrote, tongue in cheek, on Twitter: “I think getting a baseball manager to swear 77 times because your story is correct is the highest achievement in sports writing.”

Whoever it was who counted the cuss words has way too much time on his hands.

Price, by the way, was in good company with his choice of words, accepting, as he apparently did, the counsel of Mark Twain, who once advised, “When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.” And Price, in the next life, may or may not encounter Twain, who admitted, “If I cannot swear in heaven I shall not stay there.”