Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Glory Days?

In baseball, remember when…

... pitchers did not have to be "stretched out" via baby steps that involved throwing on "flat ground," throwing a "bullpen," throwing a simulated inning in batting practice to the scrubs, and being farmed out for "rehab" assignments at each of the major-league club's three upper-level minor-league affiliates before having their pitch count scrutinized like an EKG while they rebuilt arm strength?

... beat reporters responded to the banalities they were fed by club personnel with skepticism rather than with blithe acceptance of and allegiance to such nonsense? 

... beat reporters didn’t ask postgame questions that began, “How excited/happy/proud are you feeling right now?”

...Sunday double-headers were a regular part of every team's schedule?

... players didn’t point to the sky (or to the top of the dome) after touching home? 

... the rotator cuff and oblique muscle had not yet been discovered?

... no one counted pitches?

... players didn’t need a day off after a night game?

... staffs comprised 10 pitchers, including four starters who took the mound every fourth day and came out only when they lost effectiveness?

... starting pitchers not working that day’s game were used as pinch runners late in the game?

... pitchers who covered first base on a ball hit to the right side did not need time out before the next pitch to get their wind back?

... players ran hard without hurting themselves?

... umpires called balls and strikes in a timely manner and not like Hamlet pondering their existential fate?

... the manager was fatter than his players?

... players didn't have to be "shut down?"

... players were not handled like Faberge eggs?

... relief pitchers entered the game and remained until they lost effectiveness or completed the game (see Moe Drabowski in Game 1 of the 1969 World Series)?

... teams did not require eight relievers at any one time on the roster? 

... a relief pitcher could throw one inning on consecutive days without his manager nominating him for the Medal of Honor?

... a general manager did not summon an emergency reliever from the minors because his manager did not want to “deplete” his “exhausted” bullpen that had pitched four innings in the previous night’s game?

... a player knew how to bunt without needing an incentive clause in his contract?

... baseball announcers were not paid by the word and did not regard themselves as part of the entertainment?

... the telecast did not incude replays of foul balls?

... no one cared about pitch-by-pitch replays? What! No one cares about that even now?

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