Top 10 statements offered unsolicited today by third-graders:
• If you ever see a zombie, don’t
set him on fire. You’ll just have a flaming zombie.
• Make a fist, and that’s the
size of your heart.
• My dad smokes cigars, but cigars
aren’t addictive like cigarettes. Your fingers will fall off. I’m not kidding.
• Beer is disgusting, isn’t it?
• My dad loves beer.
• My mom loves wine.
• Tampa [the MLB Rays] has the
really good young players, and they play good so that they can get to New York
and Boston, where the money is.
• I know how to make fire if you
don’t have matches or a lighter. Use the top of a battery.
• Look how long my nails are!
• Want to have a no-blinking
contest?
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